Do you fear losing your personal identity for the sake of your relationship? Do you feel overpowered by your partner's personality? Are you fearful of his or her fury? If your partner batters you, you shouldn't be in the relationship anyway. YOU are the person in the relationship who has the authority to overcome the balance of power quickly and simply.
Don't forget that before the love of your life entered the scene, you were a fully functioning individual. You could operate in many ways independently. Your mate was probably attracted by your independence and self-confidence. You can be true to yourself in your relationship why finding middle ground with your partner by applying a small amount of kindness and lightheartedness.
It is probable that your spouse is not a barbarian. More likely, they are just a confident person completely oblivious to the oxygen in the relationship they are stealing from you.
Harry, my husband, is such a person. It completely amazed him to realize that I was fine with the way that I hung a picture or roasted a turkey, and in fact I even had an opinion as to what movie we should see. What I had to do, was teach him to share. A petition for consideration went a long way.
You can't rein yourself in forever. A parent/child relationship gets dull and is definitely not romantic. And it's okay to argue, as long as you don't go in for the kill. Learn to laugh at how obstinate you can be. In the long run, most arguments are about silly stuff.
Don't weigh the situation down with heavy thinking all the time. When you talk to your partner, make sure there is no blame in your tone of voice. If you have to, just do things the way you want to do them. You don't have to apologize, rather stand up for your choices with a smile. You are not in it to rebel. You are in it to maintain a level of equality within your marriage.
In the best marriages spouses are interdependent. It's foolish to vie for power. "Winning" can mean "losing" in the long run. Work as a team, not as competitors. Differences of opinion are healthy. You merged your lives, not your brains. Show your mettle with a smile. No one wins if you lose you.
Don't forget that before the love of your life entered the scene, you were a fully functioning individual. You could operate in many ways independently. Your mate was probably attracted by your independence and self-confidence. You can be true to yourself in your relationship why finding middle ground with your partner by applying a small amount of kindness and lightheartedness.
It is probable that your spouse is not a barbarian. More likely, they are just a confident person completely oblivious to the oxygen in the relationship they are stealing from you.
Harry, my husband, is such a person. It completely amazed him to realize that I was fine with the way that I hung a picture or roasted a turkey, and in fact I even had an opinion as to what movie we should see. What I had to do, was teach him to share. A petition for consideration went a long way.
You can't rein yourself in forever. A parent/child relationship gets dull and is definitely not romantic. And it's okay to argue, as long as you don't go in for the kill. Learn to laugh at how obstinate you can be. In the long run, most arguments are about silly stuff.
Don't weigh the situation down with heavy thinking all the time. When you talk to your partner, make sure there is no blame in your tone of voice. If you have to, just do things the way you want to do them. You don't have to apologize, rather stand up for your choices with a smile. You are not in it to rebel. You are in it to maintain a level of equality within your marriage.
In the best marriages spouses are interdependent. It's foolish to vie for power. "Winning" can mean "losing" in the long run. Work as a team, not as competitors. Differences of opinion are healthy. You merged your lives, not your brains. Show your mettle with a smile. No one wins if you lose you.
About the Author:
Ruth Gordon is a marriage counselor serving Naples Florida and surrounding cities with personal warmth, humor, and understanding. She is one of the many talented marriage counselors you will find on MarriageCounselorsHub.com.
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